Do you ACT or REACT?

Hello friends,
I have had this article saved on the computer for a long time. It's author is named at the top. I thought it would be a great article to read and put all of us in a great mental frame of mind to start RA Training next week. 

I am pretty excited to see all of you! Travel safe to campus!

DO YOU ACT OR REACT?

Condensed from the Chicago Daily News

by Sidney L. Harr

I walked with my friend, a Quaker, to the newsstand the other night, and he bought a paper, thanking the newsboy politely. The newsboy didn’t even acknowledge it.

“A sullen fellow isn’t he?” I commented.

“Oh, he’s that way every night,” shrugged my friend.

“Then why do you continue to be so polite to him?” I asked.

“Why not?” inquired my friend. “Why should I let him decide how I’m going to act?”

As I thought about this incident later it occurred to me that the important word was “ACT.”

My friend acts toward people; most of us react toward them. He has a sense of inner balance which is lacking in most of us; he knows who he is, what he stands for, how he should behave. He refuses to return incivility, because then he would no longer be in command of his own conduct.

Nobody is unhappier than the perpetual reactor. His center of emotional gravity is not rooted within himself, where it belongs, but in the world outside him. His temperature is always being raised or lowered by the social climate around him, and he is a mere creature at the mercy of those elements.

Praise gives him a feeling of euphoria, which is false, because it does not last and it does not come from self-approval. Criticism depresses him more than it should, because it confirms his own secretly shaken opinion of himself. Snubs hurt him, and the merest suspicious of unpopularity in any quarter rouses him in bitterness.

Serenity cannot be achieved until we become master of our own actions and attitudes. To let another determine whether we shall be rude or gracious, elated or depressed, is to relinquish control over our own personalities, which is ultimately all we possess. The only true possession is self-possession.

As I sat down to decide what to write for the RA newsletter this month, I was reminded of this short story. It is something that I used to share with RAs during training each fall, and for whatever reason, stopped doing about two years back. As I re-read it again just this week, however, I was reminded of how poignant the story, some 75 years old, still is today.

In the residence halls, we have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of each Ripon student every day. How we go about doing that, however, is up to us. With each situation we encounter we can either be positive, outgoing, and listen to what a student has to say, or like the friend in this story, can be discouraged and want to return incivility for incivility. When we encounter someone having a rough day, we can (and should) see that as an opportunity to extend appropriate care and concern. Even if our empathy is rudely ignored or refused, the student who is having the bad day is likely to remember someone was there for him at a later date.

Being an RA can sometimes be a rough job. Once the luster from the start of the year wears off, you can find yourself in the midst of roommate conflicts, loud parties, and people who are disrespectful to others or our facilities. Striving to find an inner sense of peace – and helping others to find it, too – may help strengthen your community. Acting toward others versus reacting can help you stay centered, maintain a calm demeanor, and experience less stress. It will also help you in providing counsel to your peers and in confronting any incident you might encounter in your area.

When faced with a rough situation next time, remember the story of the newsboy. How will you act – or will you react? Will you take the time to step outside a challenging situation in order to best assess how to proceed, or will you let the behaviors of another dictate how you behave?

We have the wonderful opportunity to create powerful communities where out students are known and valued. Use your time as an RA to develop your leadership skills, center yourself, and develop skills that will last your for a lifetime as someone who acts to bring out the best in others and in every situation.